"You owe me certain things and needs before I dole out my love," sayeth most humans due to trauma.
"You have to prove to me that you love me before I can be vulnerable."
"I can't open up again because I've been used, hurt badly, and have been taken advantaged of."
"SO, you who just entered my life has to PAY."
And thus, the current theme of most relationships on our Earth.
How did we get here? How is it that the first response in most connections come from this?
It's understandable. We've all been in this position, OR, we have given this position to others.
Hurt people HURT people.
Loving unconditionally is a big vulnerable end goal that, when we arrive, clouds disperse, the mind is freed, the body is open, boundaries are solid, and friends, family, lovers, soulmates and partners vibe high.
How do we get there?
You HAVE to face yourself and how you FEEL around others.
Imagine DATING YOU.
Are you kind and comfortable to be around? Do you trust your partner? Do you feel free enough to be vulnerable? To fully give love? To fully receive love? To be flexible when things happen? To TRUST?
If any of these questions stirred you up, then ANSWER honestly.
You are responsible for half of the relationship you are in.
Can you handle that responsibility? or are you wanting your partner to do all the work?
That's too big a cover charge for them to pay.
We are in a New World. The old habits you have in relating to people are gone.
That's why they aren't working anymore.
You can see that, if you want to admit it or not.
We can't continue to distract ourselves via busyness, social media, events, work, or anything any more.
If you want to have unconditional love in your life, you have to give it too.
It's a simple as that, but getting there is not that simple.
Depending on how long you have avoided yourself truly, it could take some time.
BUT, not as long as you think.
Think about how long it takes to blow up a ballon with your own breath.
Now think about how long it takes to release the air from the very same balloon.
Wow! That was FAST!
You blowing up the balloon is all the times you kept repressing the hurt, pain, and packing on more.
The release is when you are done with it.
Admitting it is half the battle, yes?
The other half is recovery mode. You tend to your now exposed wounds with therapy, self care, vacations, time off, a nice dinner, whatever you need!
Over time, the habit of loving yourself becomes UNCONDITIONAL.
and thus, you attract that kind of love.
But you can't attract what you aren't.
Like attracts like.
SO, who are you surrounding yourself with? Is it REAL?
If so, YES!! Keep it up!
If not, move on.
it can be as slow as a snail or fast as a bunny, but move on.
You aren't doing yourself or the other person or people any favors by keeping yourselves down.
The world needs ALL OF YOU at your best.
So why don't you want YOU at your best?
Rise and shine, beautiful.
RISE and SHINE.
Saja Butler has been playing the banjo for 22 years. She loves Music, authentic connection, Life on Earth. and our Grand Universal connection.