I'm in the midst of major upheaval in my life.
Congratulations and I'm terribly sorry.
So much stripping of the old paradigm is happening that my normal chill behavior is rattled, raw, insecure and fearing the unknown.
I should know better, and I do; but i can't help feeling the world view of mass upheaval.
It's a 'do or die' kind or time on our Earth.
Lots of breakdowns, break ups, uncovering, big happenings, and light shining on the darkness.
The Old World is crumbling and we aren't in the New World just yet.
You have to see the mess of destruction and then the clean up first.
Personally, I have been shown the light of my fear of success.
Sure, I believe it's possible, teaching it, and preaching it everyday in lessons, classes, ensembles, to friends and family.
But, have I ever stopped to see my true SELF as a success?
I realized I hadn't truly and was brought to tears.
I was relying on others' viewpoints to guide and nourish my view of my success!
I'm a giver. It comes easy to me.
Well, it did until people kept taking advantage of my kindness and ripped my heart to shreds.
(Insert dramatic country music here.)
I closed up for a long time; angry that people could be so mean to authenticity.
I was hurt and it showed.
Then came an upheaval in my life that blew me back into the present.
I have been playing more music as a solo artist recently and it feels good.
It's been easy for me to hide behind my teaching and performing in bands, as there are buffers of experience and bodies to play with.
Performing solo showed me myself. Where I was and where I should be.
The upheaval of solo performance made me see how much I relied on others to guide my success factor, and how I kind of lost myself.
When you see it in one area of your life, you begin to see it in all areas of your life.
Thus, I am raw, new, and in the unknown.
After all the years of running a business, you'd think I'd be used to upheaval.
Everything is always changing, not much is stable.
A business is external; my Soul and Journey are within.
So, I go forth new and expectant and with hope.
I see that I matter and that I am supposed to be here to help our Earth heal through the gift of Music.
Never let it be said that an Old Soul can't learn new tricks.
This Old Soul is now brand spanking new.
"It is our Light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."-Nelson Mandela